When Vultures Hover

Battling Emptiness and Loneliness

Welcome back!

I've never claimed to be perfect but rather striving for progress. That is why I feel I can honestly open up about things I’m experiencing in order to help others.

With that said, although I've been working hard on establishing healthier routines in my life, I've been finding that I still struggle to fend off a few reoccurring negative feelings and emotions.

Sadly, I've found that I still get worrying drops in moods. Thankfully, not every day and not to the levels I've had in the past, but they are still a concern.

Maybe it was the fatigue of a week at work but I’ve found that my energy levels were way off over the weekend and it is when I feel drained that I tend to venture into a realm of darkness, emptiness and loneliness.

I’m sure a lot of you can relate to that feeling of emptiness. For me, I can relate it back to when I was drinking - I could be in a pub or club packed full of people and yet feel so alone - with only my booze to comfort me.

And this is a similar feeling I get now and again, in that I can be surrounded by friends, family and my wonderful son, and sometimes feel like I’m an empty shell.

It’s a devastating feeling especially when I’m with my boy because he means everything to me.

Photo by Alan J. Hendry on Unsplash

Vultures

When the waves of loneliness batter you like stormy seas crashing against the rocks, you must not lose sight of the fact that there are people in your life that love you and these feelings will eventually leave you.

The urge to self-destruct can hover over you like a vulture circling its next victim.

One slip and the healthy routines you think you’ve created for yourself can come crashing down - beckoning a free-for-all for every destructive habit that you thought you’d eradicated.

Sometimes it can feel like you’re swimming upstream against a heavy current and despite being a good, experienced swimmer, you can always get pulled under - and once you’re under it sometimes takes a while to make your way back to the surface.

This is something I’ve been battling and I’m sure some of you can relate. It’s sometimes hard to get back to where you want to be once one positive element of your day has unravelled or when you’ve fallen into the depths of depression and feel emotionally empty.

How many of you can be with the people you love and not feel ‘quite right?’

The healthy habits and routines I’ve been putting in place have proven not to be cemented enough yet to deal with these reoccurring ‘low energy’ spells, however, I’m NOT going to allow myself to fail.

YOU are not going to fail either.

We need to stay the course and continue until these types of feelings become a thing of the past. With positive ACTION, the groundwork we are laying will eventually be strong enough to form the foundations of every high energy change we will make in our lives.

For me, I must never forget that there was once a man, or rather, a boy, who drank to avoid feeling anything.

Bloodhounds followed him daily, however, one day he was sick & tired of being sick & tired and was able to DITCH THE BOOZE that had held him back for so long.

He was able to transform himself into a real Man. A man with feelings, flaws he was aware of and the hunger to make progress even when things were working against him.

That Man was me. No-one special.

Photo by Hermes Rivera on Unsplash

Conclusion

When these feelings of emptiness and loneliness hit, don’t allow yourself to fall to the canvas - HIT BACK. Stand up and fight back.

This is a rallying cry to me and to those that need to hear it:

• We must NOT allow our low moods to drag us down.

• We must NOT allow feelings of loneliness to catapult us back towards the destructive past we’ve worked so hard to leave behind.

• We must NOT allow the worrying feelings of emptiness to consume us and distract us from our pursuit of goodness and progress.

These feelings will pass, they are not permanent - they are temporary emotions that will evaporate as quickly as they appeared to anchor us down.

We just need to practice patience and not give up on the positive path we are on.

Repeat after me: I WILL NOT GIVE UP.

Thank you for reading “When Vultures Hover”.

I appreciate the positive responses I got from my last newsletter “Drinking Culture”.

Take care,

Roscoe

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