T.h.e. D.e.v.i.l. W.i.t.h.i.n.
Birth of Clarity #62
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I speak of the ‘devil within’, not in a biblical sense, although it’s fine to interpret it as such, but rather from a self-sabotage, self-destruction perspective.
So many times, life appears to be going well, and then the devil emerges from within and destroys it. Sometimes it takes a piece, and sometimes it takes it all. It happens time and time again. It feels like whenever you’re getting ahead, your inner demon decides it’s time to act.
It’s a pattern you recognise, yet still can’t seem to do anything about. It’s like your mind or some inner part of you deems happiness, stability and strength as unredeemable features and strikes them down.
You make false progress. You are given false hope. You think that everything has changed, and you've overcome your demons. But the devil always has a way of reminding you he’s still there. Waiting patiently. Sometimes dormant for years.
Ready to strike.
The devil within hits quickly. Sometimes without warning. Sometimes with. Sometimes you think you’re prepared…then you’re left on your back, wondering what happened! You beat yourself up because it happened again. Yet, you know that you’re powerless to stop it unless you evoke a major change… even then, it’s difficult to keep the devil at bay. Because he takes so many forms.
When you think you’ve destroyed your demons in one area, they reappear somewhere else. Causing more chaos. And you almost feel like “what’s the fucking point!”
Every time you try, you fail. So, you keep thinking, “what’s the fucking point!” You feel defeated, but then you think… I’ve seen, with my own eyes, people who have overcome their demons. The devil within them seems to have been defeated. Yes, that might be their public show… but you still want it. You want what they have. So, what’s stopping you from getting it? What’s stopping you from achieving your dream of defeating the devil within?
You.
It’s that simple, really. Isn’t it?
You are the one allowing the devil to stop you in your tracks. From relapsing back into the same destructive habits you become accustomed to. You are the one who has the power to kick the devil’s butt and be proud of the fact that you’re building a life worth living.
Because at the moment, you’re not proud. You feel ashamed that constantly dancing with the devil is destroying your self-worth and self-respect. You’re suffering at the hands of the devil, and they’re your hands!!
All those self-improvement articles and videos you watch today will never beat consistent action and discipline. Simple. It’s about showing up every day with the same attitude.
I WILL NOT LET THE DEVIL WITHIN DESTROY ME TODAY.
He’s a sneaky fucker. He will live in those words. He will distort them and twist them. He will use them against you. He will wait until you’re weak. He’s waiting until you’re worried. He’s waiting until you’ve switched off, and then he’ll attack. Somehow, someway, you have to be ready… at all times. It’s going to be tiring. It’s going to be difficult. But growth happens in pain. It’s something you have to do to defeat the devil within and regain your life.
You know that you’re someone who has this devil within you, and you know how you feel when he wins. It feels like a part of you dies every time… and you’re wondering how many parts are left. How are you still here?
You’re here because you have some fight left in you. Maybe there’s something or someone to fight for. If that’s the case, then it’s time for you to really FIGHT!
You can’t give up. You have to keep going. You have to show up.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
Thank you for reading: “T.h.e. D.e.v.i.l. W.i.t.h.i.n.”
Before you go, here are some useful articles related to today’s post:
Please check out the last post: “War Within: Awareness.”
And 💜 and Restack this post on the Substack app.
Take care,
Roscoe | Birth of Clarity
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