Welcome to the AFFathers newsletter - now part of Birth of Clarity.
This piece is part of moving the AFFathers archive over to Birth of Clarity. I’ve updated it, added new reflections, and—like my sobriety—it’s a work in progress.
When I first got sober, self-care sounded alien to me. It felt selfish. I had a family to show up for, work to keep, responsibilities stacked high. I had spent so many years selfishly drinking that the idea of carving out time for me felt wrong.
But I learned the hard way that ignoring myself was dangerous. Sobriety isn’t just about not drinking. It’s about rebuilding the body, quieting the mind, and learning how to live with yourself again. If you don’t take care of those things, the cracks start showing fast.
Time
In early sobriety, time feels heavy. Long evenings without drinking can sometimes feel endless. But setting aside even ten minutes for something intentional—such as reading, writing, or walking—can shift everything.
The key is not waiting until you’re burned out or triggered. It’s making time before the storm hits. Because if you don’t schedule yourself in, chaos fills the gap.
Body
Addiction thrashes the body. Sleep, food, exercise—they all get wrecked. I ignored this at first, telling myself I’d catch up “later.” But my recovery didn’t get stronger until I started treating my body better: moving daily, eating decent food, and actually resting.
The body and mind aren’t separate in sobriety. When your body is broken, your mind is next in line.
Stress
Stress is the shadow that follows every father in recovery. Kids, work, bills, marriage—it piles up. For years, alcohol was how I handled stress. Without it, I needed something else.
Meditation, journaling, running—none of those erase stress, but they give it somewhere to go. They keep it from poisoning the well.
Worth
This one took me the longest to figure out. Self-care isn’t just about managing stress or fixing the body—it’s about remembering you’re worth the effort.
Addiction has a way of convincing you that you’re useless, that you don’t deserve better. But every time you take a walk, eat a real meal, or sit quietly with your thoughts, you’re proving that voice wrong.
One day at a time
Self-care isn’t glamorous. It’s not bubble baths and spa days—it’s the daily, boring, essential work of keeping yourself steady. And it’s not a one-time fix. It grows and changes as you do.
If you’re in early sobriety, make space for it now. Don’t wait. Taking care of yourself doesn’t take away from your family or responsibilities—it strengthens your ability to show up for them.
Your recovery is worth that.
You are worth that.
Do you struggle to make time for self-care? What works for you, and what do you find hardest to keep up with? Hit reply—I’d love to hear from you.
Thank you for reading: “Self-Care in Sobriety: More Than Just ‘Pampering’.”
Take care of yourself and your family,
Roscoe | Alcohol Free Fathers
Please check out the last post: Why Support Groups Matter (Especially for Fathers in Sobriety).
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